the following letters illustrate some of the issues connected with schooling a child with a logical, literal brain . (asperges)
dear "X",
Z had his first meltdown last night, not likely to be his last, the issues at the moment seem to relate to his literal use of language, I unfortunately had ticked a box next to writing on an enrolment form regarding "areas of unusual skill". Z is very literal in his language - & to him writing is strictly the act of writing with an instrument onto paper or other surfaces using a pen or pencil or similar. He really struggles with this, and also sometimes simple understandings of words that are based on common understandings of words within contexts that are sometimes quite removed from a literal interpretation of a word.
His own writing like his maths is quite efficient & direct, & can also be very entertaining, however he struggles extremely with the messy, casual, vague & illogical ways that language is used in communication. For example being a "writer" did once mean putting pen to paper, & one couldn't be a writer in any other way. But "writer" is also used where "author" may be a more apt description, especially if they use a keyboard in the process etc, where Z would call it, not writing but typing. We call someone a writer when they may not physically write at all. I tried to explain him that it can be used to describe anyone who translates ideas into a form that will be read, but it's unacceptable to him that words can be so divorced from their intended meaning. As many seemingly innocuous homework instructions are based on common understandings of meaning rather than literal interpretation, this is going to be an area of difficulty for him in many subjects as well as socially.
Anyway the fact that I had ticked the writing box (I still love reading his writing, it really stands out to me) made him feel under intense pressure to perform in an area he is aware of really struggling in. It wasn't helped by the fact that a teacher inadvertantly gave him the impression that some sheets of English problems & 3- 400 word essay choices was meant to be completed by his next English class. In fact it was just something to keep him busy in class while they got his program sorted. He was a bit over tired when he attempted the English homework he actually was meant to do - to write 2 brief emails & 2 formal letters, and when he struggled with some leaps of thought required to understand one of the briefs (that would be relatively simple to others who just accept , & understand the silly ways language is used & get on with it) he had pretty much had a total melt down that kept him awake half the night when he needed to be sleeping, & somehow he managed to blame all on my ticking of the box. Anyway the reality of school is setting in. Ultimately I think it will be good, but the transition into that chaos that is human communication will be hard. I'm not surprised, but he is, but it's not possible to explain it too him in advance, it has no meaning to him until it hit's him in the face, & even then explanations don't help that much, just seem to wind him up. so it's a learning process for both of us, hopefully we'll survive intact, & he will somehow eventually be improved, & better equipped through the experience.
I sympathise with him, I see that from his perspective, the English language is a mess that would benefit hugely by some fine tuning & decluttering. However as that's unlikely to happen in the near future, he has to learn to cope emotionally with the way things are. (& perhaps contribute to improving them in the future for others) I believe he is likely to achieve some NCEA's if he sticks with it, but to learn to deal with the diversity & confusion that he encounters at school will be in the long term what benefits him the most. I continue to learn from the constant challenges he throws my way, a painful process for him because I'm so painfully slow at understanding his world & his needs. When I don't get it right it's kind of like torture for him, although that's not my intention at all. I'm slowly starting to understand what is actually a very mathematical & elegant precision in his understanding & usage of language. I am far from being able to speak his language which causes numerous problems, but I hope over time I can grow towards understanding his way of thinking & help him with the challenges he faces.
For many years I deeply resisted the way he turned my own deeply held understandings of reality on their head, but as time has progressed I've realised that when I try to experience life from his perspective, letting go of my own cherished perspectives for a while, I learn much that is extremely valuable. Because of this I welcome the very challenging task of being his primary carer because ultimately the transformations he's required of me, to cope with his very different reality have been beneficial not just for him but for me as well. He continues to be my greatest teacher in life, & also my most challenging one. Living with Zen requires living day to day, moment to moment. Not in the future but in the present. I try to get through this day, this week, this year, this task at hand, this challenge, that issue etc, & enjoy the good parts as much as possible.
The best chance he has of success in the future is if he can find the resourcefulness to cope with what life throws at him, & find his place where he can and does belong . I believe it's possible, even if a few miracles are required a long the way. I think that the low keyness of a country school, & the range of possibilities open to him here, & the support of the school, probably give him about as much chance for a positive outcome as he's going to get anywhere, & he's about as ready for it as he's going to ever be.
I liked what you wrote, very true. The stereotypes could do with being challenged a bit more in that area or it undermines the whole point of gifted education.As far as I can see the education system is slowly evolving to become individualised, & unfortunately a lot of people help it evolve by experiencing what doesn't work(painfully), & then trying to change what didn't work. And eventually some good changes do happen (to be thrown out by the next government?) just got to make the most of it. Ultimately it will make or break Zen, I like to think it will be positive, that there are enough forces for good that he will come out of this in a better place, (but am crossing fingers & toes on that one).
thanks for your input, you always have something interesting to say regarding education.
Angela
From: my sister
Subject: RE: "Z"
...that seems really good fortune - to have someone with some understanding and a particular interest sounds great.
"T" Intermediate has a gifted programme which they talked about in one of their news letters and I thought it was great they were specifically trying to address the issue BUT they managed to send completely contradictory messages in other areas of the school life and I actually wrote a letter earlier to complain about it - the school has a school production every 2 years where the script is written by pupils - which sounds like a great idea in theory, but in practice the result is all the tired American stereotypes get trotted out on stage - which means a script full of "populars" vs the "nerds". The "nerdily-dressed" "nerd" recited miscellaneous "uninteresting" facts ad infinitum - for which he was generally rewarded with a physical shove from the populars - the nerd himself joked about going for his "daily beating". It wouldn't be such a big issue, but every day I see kids acting out the stereotypes they see in the media - calling other kids "losers" because they don't fit in the "popular" box and feeling perfectly justified in doing so because everything they see on tv tells them it's okay. I thought it was quite incongruous with trying to meet the needs of gifted children - to paint such a one-dimensional stereotyped picture of people with exceptional interests - and at the same time to make it look like abusing them for being different was okay. (There are some programmes with "nerd" characters which I actually really like - like "Malcolm in the Middle" and the IT Crowd, - I because think they manage to make them not one-dimensional and make them people you can still relate to in some respect rather than simply being the natural butt of ridicule). Anyway, if you have someone educated and positive there in "P" that's a big bonus.
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