unconditional love - the spiritual purpose of autism

I believe that autistic children come to us with 2 purposes. The 1st is to challenge us to the core of our being to examine and surrender all that is not really, truly important, the 2nd is to teach absolute unconditional love, and by that I mean unconditional.

A child with autism is hardwired not to conform to our ideas, beliefs and expectations as to how someone should behave to fit into their culture and society. A lot of the tension they feel and express that can make us so uncomfortable however, is the result of moving in a world that is constantly judging their "inappropriate behavior". That behavior may be causing no harm at all, but because society finds it inappropriate, if it goes against social norms (for example repetitive body movements, strange sounds or even honestly expressed opinions) it can be very difficult to socialize with ASD children. (or adults).

We can tend to see the only solution to the discomfort around socializing with Autistic children, to be to somehow miraculously get them to conform so that we can all feel more comfortable. But I am going to make a very radical suggestion, that perhaps it is not the ASD person who needs to change their behavior. Perhaps their discomfort in this world is partly because the rules that govern our social behavior have become so narrow. Perhaps our values around social behavior need to alter to encompass the phenomenon that autism is becoming.

There is a lot of focus in the ASD world on curing this condition. I've started this blog, partly to express an alternative point of view. I found in my situation that in my struggle to get my son to conform, a slow recognition emerged that unconditional love of my son, as he is, where he is now, letting go of all concerns for the future and being present in this moment with him, was the most important thing required of me. By doing this, I have seen miracles happen, with his speech and social behaviour. (I never thought my son would greet people and say "hello" and "goodbye" and "thankyou" and even shake hands, all of which he does now with a real genuineness). But the first miracle, and most important miracle is the one that happens when we let go of the tension and allow ourselves to relax with whatever situation we are faced with. The first and most important lesson I learned was that my son needed me to love him and accept him as he was, not as I or others wanted him to be. But equally important for our healing was for me to love and accept myself.

My question is: do we need to cure autism? Or are they here to cure us?? Perhaps the answer is a combination of looking within, going with the transformations that autism asks of us, surrendering to the lessons it has to teach us, and looking for the solutions that are physically and behaviorally based.